Depression is simply anger that is turned inward toward the self. I shall try to explain what that means:

Many people feel extremely ill at ease being angry. We learned this as children, and unless we unlearn it, the pattern repeats itself throughout adulthood.

When many of us were children, we were admonished to not be angry (it is easy to understand why, as it was often expressed in a tantrum!). We perceived that we were wrong to FEEL anger, and unable to turn it outward at whom we were angry, we turned it inward instead. We still felt angry, but now we aimed it at ourselves, blaming ourselves for simply feeling angry, which resulted in frustration and, ultimately, depression.

When we do have to express anger at others, it frequently comes across as passive aggressive, indirect, and just not effective at getting our feelings heard. As we have grown up, we have also witnessed others who express anger in this same indiscriminate, diffuse and ineffectual way, and this often results in more anger directed at themselves. These examples reinforce our discomfort with expressions of anger, both in others and in ourselves.

Anger, however, is a healthy, important emotion. It protects us from further harm. It announces that there is a boundary that has been crossed. That one's feelings are important and worthy of defense.

Anger also may be the key to the door of a healthier you. It is a feeling that we can learn to use as a tool.

It is never wrong to feel anger. It is, however, our own responsibility to express it appropriately. Instead of a quagmire of bad feelings, a miasma of depression, it can be harnessed and directed into a laser-like beam of intensity -- to be aimed directly and solely at whom you are angry, with less effort, virtually no guilt, and a sense of peace afterwards.

The next time you are angry, think of exactly why you are angry: anger comes from being hurt. Who or what hurt you? When you know exactly why you feel hurt, and who you are angry at for hurting you, you then can clearly express WHY you are angry to WHO made you feel this way.

In aiming our anger this way, we take the self-blame out of the equation, and put the responsibility for the anger onto whomever or whatever provoked it. It can be very empowering!