No one really enjoys hearing someone criticize them - that there is something deficient about them, or not good enough, but often times receiving this criticism is a great opportunity to improve oneself, if we can learn to hear it, evaluate it, learn from it and take action about it.

When we are criticized, we tend to respond in predictable ways: we immediately get defensive and explain why we did what we did, or else we give excuses, blaming it all on someone else or something else, or else we get silent and shut down emotionally -- you know what I mean, like when someone's talking to you about something you'd rather not hear, and you can see their mouth moving but inside your head all you can hear is your heart beating loudly and perhaps you feel your face getting red, and you wish you could just get out of there quick! When we have these reactions, we often are not really paying attention to what the other person is saying; after all, it is being filtered through our entire history of feelings about ourselves and our self-esteem, and all of our memories of being criticized in our lives.

In order to receive a critique in a healthier, more useful way, we need to really hear it. Try to catch yourself if you find yourself tuning out the other person. Listen to what the other person is saying, and then analyze and evaluate whether the criticism is true. Try not to reflexively defend yourself or give excuses, but rather ask yourself - Could this be true? Does this person have a reason to lie to me about this, or an ulterior motive for his/her critique? Could it be, however unintentionally, that I have this behavior or deficiency that I need to correct? If you think that the critique is unfounded, then you may defend yourself, or you may just decide to let the criticism go without responding at all. If, in fact, it is true, the next question is What can I do about it? It may be as simple as taking voice lessons or getting new headshots or, more challenging, changing your behavior that is causing the problem. If the problem behavior is part of a pattern, this may require help from outside such as going to a therapist, who can help you figure out why you do things and help you discover other ways of thinking.

When encountering criticism, try using these four steps:
1) Hear it
2) Evaluate it
3) Learn from it
4) Take Action about it

Try to develop this helpful habit of using these steps; it will serve you throughout your life, help you to avoid taking criticism too personally, and allow you to continue your positive personal growth on your own pursuit of happiness.

More on criticism? Check out On Blogway and discuss!