An actor friend of mine had no representation and had to negotiate his own contracts when he got cast in shows. He was so happy to be cast and so eager to please that he frequently would accept low pay and sometimes uncomfortable living arrangements offered by some theatres. Still, he used to privately complain that although he was working as an actor, he was not making enough money doing it, and he hated having to share living quarters at some of the theatres he worked at. He gradually learned that he could ask them if they could arrange for a private room, and if they could pay him a higher salary, based on his rapidly expanding experience. Sometimes he would hear "no", but then he could decide whether he wanted to work at that theatre under those particular conditions,; sometimes he would hear "yes", and his sense of self-worth would grow. When we stand up for ourselves, we are affirming our worth, both to ourselves and to others.

Another friend of mine went on a job interview, and was embarrassed when she was asked how much she thought she should get paid. She simply told the interviewer what her salary was at her last job, and she got hired at the new job ... at the SAME salary as she had before! Ironically, the reason she was interviewing for a new job was that she was unhappy at her old job and felt they did't treat her well enough!

If she had said she was worth more than that, if she had told the interviewer that her experience made her more valuable at the new job, perhaps she would have received a higher salary. Perhaps the interviewer would have said that he could not afford to pay such a high salary, but at least the option to get more money would have been explored, and negotiations could have begun, Instead, my friend ended up short-changing herself, all because she had a low self-esteem and was too embarrassed to claim she was worth more than her last job paid her.

What is your value? Do you settle for what others are willing to give you? It is worth asking yourself. Do you accurately assess the skills and experience you may bring to a job? Learn to value yourself, and stand up for yourself if you have been short-changed when getting paid. Ask for what you think you are worth.

A version of this article appears on Backstage Experts:
https://www.backstage.com/magazine/author/robert-curtiss/